June 2018 by Ping Pong Long
If overpriced plastic boxes are your thing then you will adore this shop. There are plastic boxes galore. Little ones, big ones, enormous ones, boxes so big that you need a telescope to see the other end. In fact, the shop is actually housed in a plastic box, with a lid for a roof. Last time they had a gale, they were worried about the roof blowing away. I overheard the manager saying "If it does, we'll just get a new lid, er, i mean roof. Not lid roof".
Little did he know. You can't buy lids on there own. You have to buy the box too.
They also sell cheap printers such as the Epsom XP 245 which seem a really good deal until you realise that (despite only printing black text) you have to replace the coloured inks.
These cost more than the printer and last about 2 weeks regardless of whether or not you use the printer or not.
They sell folders and things too. With pictures of lions on and slogans. The folders do fold, so i'm told.
They sell stacked "organisers" too. These, do organise your desk rather excellently...
....as long as you have a job where you only ever have 3 things to do.
For the rest of us, they just provide 3 additional platforms of frustration, to look for that important document that you cant find.
If you make the mistake of labelling any of them with a word containing the letters "in" then misguided and lazy colleagues will grasp the opportunity to leave work (they don't want to do) there for you. Especially if you are foolish enough to leave your desk ever.
One or two other office tips, un-related to this otherwise wonderful boutique of plastic boxes but still worth knowing....
Unless you enjoy constant interruption from colleagues that are too stupid/lazy/fat/ugly to bend down, pull out the drawer and remove the offending paper, DO NOT SIT NEAR THE PHOTOCOPIER OR PRINTER.
Even if you put a screen in between your desk and the photocopier/printer, they will still poke their stupid heads around it and ask "Why cant i print in A3"? "Why doesn't the photocopier work"? "How do i get it in colour"?, "Do i need to breathe out after breathing in"? etc
Even IF your job is Photocopier/Printer engineer, still take my advice and sit in a different part of the building.
If you break the photocopier/printer, rather than try to fix it, its ENORMOUS fun to annoy the bloke sitting nearest to it. Despite his protests otherwise, he LOVES it.
If he is off having a nervous breakdown then just return to your desk and wait until a colleague fixes it.
If your office has an Epsom XP 245, then if anyone has printed more than 2 pages of A4 black text then the fault WILL be that it's ran out of ink.